A Guide to Handling Depression When Your Child Leaves Home

Maybe your child has recently moved out for college. Perhaps they relocated for a job opportunity, or to move in with a partner or roommates.

Even if your child still lives within a reasonable driving distance, you might find yourself missing their presence at home more than you thought you would. You want to pick up the phone and call them, or text them on a daily basis. Yet at the same time, you know that you need to give your child their space so that they can learn to navigate adulthood independently. You’re trying to give them more freedom while you get used to your new circumstances, too. 

It’s fairly common for parents to feel depressed when their older children move out. Here’s how to adapt to this new phase of your life while supporting your child.

Connect With Your Own Friends

A large part of your social life might have revolved around your child. You might have spent lots of time taking them to events. Plus, you may have befriended the parents of their friends. Now, your social calendar may feel somewhat empty.

It’s time to reach out to your friends and be proactive about making plans. When your social calendars are not anchored by your children, you’ll need to create new routines and schedules that bring you into contact with your friends on your own. Try setting up standing dates with your friends so that you see them weekly or monthly.

Try New Hobbies

With more room in your schedule, you also have opportunities to try new things. You might want to sign up for a workout class, join a hiking group, enroll in an art class, or start volunteering. The sky is the limit! By getting involved in new activities, you’ll meet new people, pick up new skills, and have positive updates to share with your child when you catch up on life. 

Trust Your Child’s Abilities

You may be feeling depressed in part because you’re concerned about your child. But chances are, your child will be able to tackle challenges on their own. Everyone makes mistakes when leaving home for the first time! It’s natural for a parent to feel a bit stressed over this. Remember that young adults learn by doing. As long as you’re there for your child when they need your guidance, everything will be okay.

Schedule Times to Keep in Touch

You’re used to talking to your child every day. You miss spending so much time with your child, but you don’t want to overstep your boundaries. Talk to your child about the best time of the week to give them a call. A weekly phone call will give you both something to look forward to, and when you know you’ll be able to talk with your child, you might not feel the urge to reach out so frequently throughout the week.

Consider Talking to a Therapist

Finally, if making lifestyle changes like these does little to alleviate your depression, remember that you do not have to go through this on your own. Just as young adults often see counselors to cope with life transitions, parents might choose to work with therapists if they need guidance throughout a similar period of change. In therapy, you can learn healthy coping skills for stress, identify how you can take advantage of this new stage of life, and start building a new, mature relationship with your child.

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Are you struggling with depression since your child has moved out? A therapist can help you shift your perspective. Reach out through phone, email, or our contact form to learn more about our depression treatment services.