The Unique Challenges that Come with Being an LGBTQIA+ Parent

If you are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, you might be interested in becoming a parent one day. Yet you’re not sure how to navigate the fertility journey with your partner, especially if you live in a smaller area.

Perhaps you’ve recently welcomed your first child. Now, you’re wondering which challenges you might face in the future and how you can prepare for them.

Or maybe your child is going off to school for the first time this year. You’re concerned that they might deal with bullying or stigma because of your identity.

There’s no doubt that LGBTQIA+ parents face unique challenges. Understanding the nature of these challenges can help you overcome these obstacles, or help a friend who is dealing with these situations. Here are a few common issues that LGBTQIA+ parents often deal with that heterosexual, cisgender parents may be unfamiliar with.

Dealing with Prejudice

LGBTQIA+ parents often face prejudice for their own identities, as well as for the simple fact of starting families. Although our society has made strides toward accepting LGBTQIA+ parents, unfortunately, some people still do not support LGBTQIA+ people starting families.

LGBTQIA+ parents might struggle to fit in when they are in social settings with the parents of their children’s classmates or friends. Depending on the political climate in their area, they might feel as though they don’t belong in the same social environments where other parents tend to socialize. They even face hostile remarks or rude comments about their identity.

Legal Obstacles

Members of the LGBTQIA+ community may have to deal with legal and financial obstacles to starting their families in the first place. For example, they might need to seek out medical reproductive assistance in order to conceive children, which can be prohibitively expensive.

In some areas, they may have trouble finding medical providers who want to support them on their parenthood journey. Additionally, LGBTQIA+ parents who want to adopt may struggle to connect with an agency that works with LGBTQIA+ people.

Explaining Diversity Amongst Families

As children grow up, they will inevitably have questions about how their family compares to other people’s families. This can happen for any kind of family, regardless of the parents’ identities. However, children with LGBTQIA+ parents may have questions about why their family “looks different” from others.

It’s best to answer these questions in a straightforward manner when your children are young. The answers do not need to be complex. Children often have an easier time accepting diversity among families than adults.

Protecting Your Children from Bullying

For many LGBTQIA+ parents, their biggest concerns do not pertain to themselves. Instead, they worry that their children will face nasty comments, bullying, or social isolation from other kids or even adults. These fears can be even more pronounced for families who live in areas where LGBTQIA+ identities are not widely accepted.

Differences Between Your Identity and Your Child’s

As your child grows up, they may have questions about their own identity. Some LGBTQIA+ parents raise children who also come out as LGBTQIA+ when they get older. But many raise children who are straight and cisgender.

Additionally, just because a parent and child are both part of the LGBTQIA+ community does not mean that they share the same identity or experiences. Therefore, LGBTQIA+ parents may have to learn more about their own child’s experience so that they can best support them on their own journey. Their paths do not have to look the same.

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Are you struggling to handle the challenges of being an LGBTQIA+ parent? A therapist can help guide you. Reach out to us to learn more about our gender affirming care services for parents.