Showing Support: What Does It Mean to Be an Ally to the LGBTQIA+ Community?
Maybe you have a few friends who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Perhaps a friend has just come out to you for the first time. Even if your friends and loved ones are confident in their identities and comfortable in their own skin, you know that society is not always kind to LGBTQIA+ people.
You want to be supportive of your loved ones. But you’re not sure what it means to be an ally. Plus, sometimes you worry that you’ll put your foot in your mouth and say the wrong thing when you’re trying to be kind. Thankfully, being an ally goes hand in hand with practicing basic kindness. Here are a few tips to help you support the LGBTQIA+ community.
Listen and Learn
When it comes to being an ally, it’s important to listen and learn. When your friends share the challenges that they’ve faced for being part of the LGBTQIA+ community, avoid minimizing or dismissing their struggles.
Additionally, when someone in your life shares their orientation or gender identity with you, or requests specific pronouns or a new name, remember they know themselves better than anyone else. You can show your support by addressing them according to their preferences.
Maintain Your Friends’ Privacy
Just because someone has decided that they’re ready to come out to you, does not mean they are ready to come out to everyone. Many people choose to come out to their most trusted friends before anyone else. Unless you are absolutely certain that someone is publicly out, do not mention their identity to other people. Let people come out on their own timeline. It’s a complicated process, and it’s a choice that an individual must make for themselves.
Speak Up When Necessary
Speaking up on your loved ones’ behalf when necessary is a critical aspect of being an ally. If someone you know is making discriminatory comments about LGBTQIA+ people, think about how your friends would feel if they could hear these statements, and be prepared to stand up for them. You do not have to get into heated arguments with people, but it’s appropriate to let people know that you do not tolerate these types of comments because you have loved ones in the LGBTQIA+ community.
Check Your Own Biases
Everyone has biases that they are not aware of. If you have close friends in the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s a good idea to examine your own biases, and how your language might reflect those biases.
For example, it’s best not to assume someone else’s sexuality or assign labels to them. Additionally, if you’re speaking about relationships in a general sense, rather than referring to a specific couple, you can use terms like “partner” rather than “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” Reflect on how you might hold unconscious biases. You can address these biases so that you can be a better friend and stronger ally.
Consider Volunteering
If you are interested in getting involved with an organization that supports the LGBTQA+ community, there is no shortage of options! You may want to reach out to local or national organizations that are seeking volunteers. No matter your skills, there is sure to be a charity or nonprofit that could use your talents.
Additionally, if one of your friends is interested in launching their own organization, you can offer to pitch in. Anyone has the power to make a difference! Large-scale, positive changes often start with one person putting in the effort.
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