ADHD and How It Affects Emotional Regulation
Many people with ADHD have difficulty regulating their emotions. They may feel significant shame over the strength of their emotions and how they express them. Most people with ADHD do not realize that this is a symptom of this condition until they receive a diagnosis.
It’s easy to assume that ADHD primarily affects an individual’s ability to stay focused, but it can also influence the way you process and express emotions. When someone feels emotions intensely, they might have difficulty identifying and expressing their emotions in a calm, grounded manner. This can lead to risky decision-making, conflicts, shutting down emotionally, and avoiding tough conversations.
In the long run, troubles with emotional regulation can damage familial and romantic relationships, as well as friendships. Here are a few ways that ADHD can affect emotional regulation.
Emotional Intensity
People with ADHD often experience intense emotions. This can apply to both positive and negative feelings. Someone with ADHD might become deeply upset over a minor inconvenience. On the other hand, they may be extremely excited over an event that other people view as inconsequential. It can be hard to relate to the way other people experience their emotions, leaving people with ADHD feeling misunderstood and alone.
Impulsivity
When someone struggles with emotional regulation, they may be prone to impulsive behaviors. Rather than thinking about the best course of action to respond to a particular situation, they act immediately to soothe their strong emotions. They may decide to share sensitive information with someone in a raw, unfiltered way. Sometimes, they might engage in risky behaviors or reckless spending. They might put themselves in harm’s way, or choose to end a relationship without considering the consequences.
Lower Stress Tolerance
A lack of emotional regulation can contribute to lower stress tolerance. People with ADHD may have a hard time staying calm during hard conversations, balancing their responsibilities at work, or keeping up with household errands. Dealing with intense emotions on top of daily stressors can make it seem as though every problem is magnified. They can fall behind on their obligations as a result, and they might wonder why “everyone else” seems to handle things that they can’t.
Struggling With Conflicts
Plenty of people who do not have ADHD try to avoid conflicts or feel stressed when they disagree with someone. However, conflicts can be particularly hard for people with ADHD to approach. They may run from conflicts altogether without explaining their feelings, or they might struggle to articulate how they feel without getting angry or upset. Afterward, they might feel frustrated, because they haven’t been able to come to a solution. They may also feel guilty about what they said in the heat of the movement.
Guilt and Shame Over Feelings
Often, people with ADHD feel guilty and ashamed about their powerful emotions and how they express them. They might look back on their actions before receiving a diagnosis and have trouble forgiving themselves. It can be hard to cultivate healthy, long-lasting relationships.
It’s important for people with ADHD to practice self-compassion while they focus on building their emotional regulation skills. Countless people, including those who do not have ADHD, struggle with emotional regulation, and it’s crucial to remember that this ability is learned.
Everyone needs to practice when it comes to applying emotional regulation skills. Those with ADHD who want further guidance might benefit from working with a therapist who can equip them with valuable coping skills.
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Are you struggling with emotional regulation related to ADHD? A therapist can help you manage this symptom. Connect with us to discuss your options for booking your first appointment for ADHD counseling.