Emotional Infidelity: A Closer Look at the Complexities of Relationship Betrayal
People often believe that “infidelity” always refers to physical affairs. But infidelity doesn’t have to be physical in nature for one partner’s actions to qualify as a betrayal. In fact, emotional infidelity can be just as damaging to a relationship as physical infidelity.
Maybe you couldn’t understand why you felt so disappointed when you discovered that your partner was having intimate conversations with a coworker, even if they had never done anything physical. Perhaps you were angry to find out that your partner had discussed your relationship troubles with a close friend, and their texts gradually turned to flirting. Both of these situations are examples of emotional infidelity. It’s time to explore what emotional infidelity means and why it constitutes a form of betrayal.
Understanding Emotional Infidelity
Emotional infidelity can refer to a wide range of behaviors. But it all boils down to fostering an intimate, close connection with someone other than your partner whom you have the potential to feel attracted to. Communicating with this person and lying to your partner about it, spending time with them behind your partner’s back, flirting with them even if you don’t intend for it to go further, or sharing things with them that you don’t share with your partner all fall under the category of emotional infidelity.
What common thread runs through all of these behaviors? Secrecy. If you have to lie about or misrepresent your interactions with someone else to your partner, it means that you’re violating your mutual understanding of your relationship.
The Confusing Nature of Emotional Infidelity
If your partner is engaging in emotional infidelity, you might feel confused and uncertain about how to address the situation. After all, emotional infidelity can start off as an innocent friendship. Part of you might feel like it’s unfair to decide how your partner can interact with their friends. You may also question whether or not you’re making a big deal out of a harmless friendship. But when it comes to emotional infidelity, trust your instincts. If your partner’s behavior is hurtful, you have a right to speak up.
Why Does Emotional Infidelity Hurt So Badly?
When you realize that your partner has been engaging in emotional infidelity, you might be shocked by how hurt you really feel. Even if your partner has never so much as kissed anyone else, emotional infidelity is still a form of betrayal. When your partner invests their time and energy into another intimate relationship while leaving you in the dark, you have every right to feel let down.
Defining Boundaries
At its core, emotional infidelity represents an overstepping of boundaries. Setting boundaries within your relationship will not necessarily prevent emotional infidelity. After all, boundaries are not a means of control for other people. However, communicating specific boundaries to your partner. Walking away if they can’t respect those boundaries will ensure you do not stay in a relationship marred by emotional infidelity. It also means that your partner can’t claim ignorance if they commit emotional infidelity.
Couples Therapy for Emotional Infidelity
Does emotional infidelity have to lead to the end of your relationship? If you and your partner are both committed to making lasting changes, you may be able to move forward as a couple. But it can be hard to deal with this issue on your own, especially when emotional infidelity is an unfamiliar concept to so many people. A couples therapist can help redefine your boundaries, cultivate a newfound sense of trust, and rekindle your spark.
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Through counseling, you can navigate emotional infidelity and relationship betrayal. Connect with our practice to book an individual or couples counseling session.