Gender Identity Exploration: Is It Normal to Experience This as an Adult?
Maybe you’ve found yourself questioning your gender identity for the first time in your life. Or perhaps you used to struggle with your gender identity as a child or young teen, and you tried to suppress those feelings for many years. Now, the same complicated emotions you thought you had pushed to the back burner are cropping up again. You’ve tried to silence this internal questioning. Yet even as you try to distract yourself from this sudden confusion, you can’t avoid these thoughts. Maybe you are now in college, maybe you are actually past college, and well into your adult years.
If you’re nervous about questioning your gender identity in adulthood, rest assured that you are not alone, and you do not need to dismiss or suppress these questions. Here’s why these thoughts might be coming up now and why it’s more than okay to ask these questions. Here at Newark Behavioral Health, we have found that adults of any age sometimes need someone to talk to about gender identity. An understanding and informed therapist can accompany you on your journey of exploration, holding space and listening while you strive to uncover the basis for your feelings, or figuring out what gender expression feels most comfortable for you.
These Feelings Are Normal
Right now, you might be worried that questioning your gender identity as an adult is simply not normal. But it’s more common than you might think. Whether you’ve had these thoughts during childhood and tried to forget about them, or you’re reconsidering your gender identity for the first time now, there’s nothing “wrong” with you. It’s okay to ask these questions and explore a different side to your identity in adulthood now that you have more independence.
Following Your Own Path
As a child, you may have been expected to follow a certain path in life. Chances are, this path did not allow much freedom of expression when it came to your gender identity. But now, you have the opportunity to forge your own path. This might mean turning your mind to questions that you never would have allowed yourself to consider before. It’s understandable that you would finally let yourself ask these questions now, when you might not have felt comfortable or safe dwelling on these thoughts previously.
New Level of Societal Acceptance
There is still a lot of progress to be made when it comes to societal acceptance of transgender, nonbinary and gender non-conforming individuals. However, you may have noticed a shift in attitudes and a more open perspective towards transgender people since your childhood. Perhaps you’ve met people who opened your mind regarding gender. This may have prompted your internal questioning. Today, it’s becoming more common for people to grapple with tough questions about their gender identity, just because there is more space to do so.
Getting Curious without Committing to Labels
If you’re questioning your gender identity, you might be pressuring yourself to “choose” one label or another at the moment. You may be concerned that if you don’t fit in with a particular label, your feelings aren’t that serious. What if you do pick a label for yourself? Will you ever be able to identify differently? But neither of these scenarios is true. You do not have to “choose” a label right away, or at all! You can simply let yourself explore these feelings and reflect on your new discoveries about yourself.
Deciding on Your Next Steps
There is absolutely no reason for you to rush into labeling yourself or making any permanent decisions based on your considerations about your gender identity, sometimes labels are too limiting. But you may not want to navigate this process entirely on your own. Perhaps you have family or friends who you would be comfortable sharing your feelings with. However, if you’re interested in finding a nonjudgmental listener, or hearing some external guidance, you may want to connect with a therapist who supports people struggling with their gender identities.
Are you struggling with your gender identity as an adult or college student? Talking to a therapist at Newark Behavioral Health can help you accept and process these feelings. If you are ready to make an appointment, please call us at 302-319-5161. Or request an appointment by clicking the button below.