How to Help Someone with Depression Around the Holidays
Maybe you know someone who is struggling with depression. Even if they haven’t specifically told you that they’ve been dealing with symptoms of depression, you’re concerned about their mental health. You might recognize the warning signs, and now you’re wondering how to best offer your help, especially now with winter holidays approaching. Whether this person is a sibling, friend, coworker, or another important person in your life, you can find a way to show them your support. Letting someone know that you are there for them will not cure their depression, but it may lift their spirits and prove to them that someone cares about their wellbeing. Here’s how you can help the people in your life who are suffering from depression.
Avoid Platitudes and Toxic Positivity
Telling someone that “everything happens for a reason” or that they can simply “choose” to be happy will not help those who are struggling with depression. These empty platitudes can actually make people feel worse. They might feel like they deserve their depression because they did something bad that caused it to happen, or that being depressed is their fault and they’re simply too weak to fix it. Instead, let your loved one know that however they feel is okay. You won’t judge them for their emotions and you care about them no matter what. Don't try to debate them, or talk them out of their feelings. Instead, try distraction and accompaniment.
Offer Your Company
People with depression often feel isolated and alone. They might push people away because they don’t want others to know they’re depressed, especially if they worry about facing stigma for their mental health. Make sure that your loved one knows that they are not alone. Even if they aren’t ready to open up about their feelings, you are happy to just spend time with them. Giving them company when they feel lonely can make a difference, even if you aren’t doing anything exciting. Let them know you value them and want to spend time with them, even if they are hurting. Make it easier for them by making the first move, text, call, stop by....tell them you are thinking about them, even if they don't feel like coming to the nex gathering or celebration.
Suggest Healthy Activities
You may be worried that your loved one has been turning to drinking or other substances to cope with their depression. Perhaps they’ve been relying on coping mechanisms that will only hurt them in the long run. Try suggesting healthy activities when you spend time with them. You might want to go for a walk outside or check out a cafe rather than a bar. This is especially important during the holiday season as many depressed people will isolate and turn down invitations. Suggest low stress alternatives, like a short meeting for coffee, or going for a walk, or take in a movie together.
Pitch in Around the House
Sometimes, people with depression have trouble keeping up with household chores. They might be ashamed to admit this to their loved ones. In fact, they might not even want you to see their home. If you’re truly close with someone, you may want to offer to help them clean up. You can also find ways to lend a hand with ongoing chores and domestic responsibilities. For example, you could invite them over for dinner once a week so that they don’t have to worry about cooking that night. Every little bit counts. Around the holidays, perhaps they would like some help with shopping, or wrapping presents, or sending out holiday cards. Ask how you can help, and make your helping a low-stress social occasion, a time to spend time with your loved one.
Be Ready to Reach Out for Help
What if your loved one is struggling with severe symptoms of depression and you’re concerned that your efforts simply won’t be enough? You do not have to try to address this situation all on your own. If your loved one has expressed any thoughts of suicide ideation, you should reach out to an appropriate helpline immediately or contact emergency services in your area. However, if your loved one is not in immediate danger, but you’ve realized that your own efforts aren’t helping them, you may want to suggest that they see a therapist. If you know of a good therapist, you could even provide a reference. If you are not sure how to support your loved one with depression, you may also consider making an appointment and meeting with a therapist yourself to discuss your thoughts and feelings.
Do you feel alone in your struggles with depression, or are you feeling stuck in your desire to help a loved one who is depressed? Working with a therapist at Newark Behavioral Health can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session. If you are ready to make an appointment, please call us at 302-319-5161. Or request an appointment by clicking the button below.