How Can Therapy Help with Coming Out to Family and Friends?
Maybe you’ve been questioning your sexual orientation or gender identity for a while now. You know that you’re different from your peers, and whether you’ve gotten comfortable with a specific label or not, you want to open up to your family and friends about who you really are without painful repercussions. This is where therapy can help. Here’s how a therapist can support you throughout the coming out process.
1. Opening Up to Your Therapist First
As of right now, you may have never told anyone that you were questioning your gender or sexuality. For many people, their therapist is the very first person who they really come out to—even if they don’t have a particular term for their own identity just yet! Coming out to a therapist can feel like taking a burden off of your shoulders. At Newark Behavioral Health, our therapists typically have worked with many clients in this situation. They understand how hard this can be. When you’re in therapy, you can enjoy a safe space to share anything that’s on your mind. You can talk about all of your complex thoughts and emotions related to gender and sexuality without facing judgment. This can give you the courage you need to have similar conversations with people outside of therapy in the future.
2. Defining and Accepting Your Own Identity
At the moment, you may feel like you’re still in the middle of “figuring out” your gender or sexuality—or both! That’s perfectly fine. You do not have to label yourself in therapy. But if you still feel confused, and the ambiguity is becoming frustrating, your therapist can help to figure out which terms best suit you. Even if you’re not too attached to a label, having the language to explain your feelings can help you navigate these conversations with other people in the future, whether you’re coming out to a friend or connecting with a potential romantic partner. Accepting yourself, exactly as you are, can happen as a result of the therapeutic process.
3. Determine Who You Can Come Out To
Part of you might feel like you’re ready to come out—but at the same time, you may be nervous about the consequences. You want to be open about who you are. Yet, depending on where you live, as well as your social circle’s opinions on gender and sexuality, you may be unsure about whether or not this is safe. You can talk through these concerns with your therapist. They can help you figure out where in your life you can safely be out, whether it’s with family, with friends, at work, or in school. Furthermore, they can guide you as you determine who to come out to and who you’d feel most comfortable telling first.
4. Practicing Scripts for Conversations with Family Members
Maybe you’ve decided who you want to come out to. You know that you can trust them to accept you for who you are. But every time you think about starting the conversation, you seem to get a bit tongue-tied. You just don’t know how to begin! Your therapist can help you choose a safe time and place to have this talk. Additionally, you can practice running through the conversation with scripts. You’ll have the chance to try out different responses to potential questions so that you’re not starting from scratch.
Are you getting ready to come out? Or are you just contemplating your gender identity or sexual orientation? Working with a therapist at Newark Behavioral Health can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session. If you are ready to make an appointment, please call us at 302-319-5161. Or request an appointment by clicking the button below.